Sunday, March 26, 2017

The Vase

Our daughter's first birthday was a few weeks ago and we had a small family party for her.  While I was getting the house cleaned up for guests, I had to find something to do with this vase full of wormwood (another post for another time) my Meemaw gave me several years ago that I've been using as a space filler for a drab corner of our kitchen.  It was where I needed Emmy's highchair to go so that I could configure good seating for her little party.

So, I took the vase and put it in a corner in our master bedroom because that was the most *logical* place for it to go (along with all of the other junk that I couldn't figure out what to do with) and closed the door.  Guests don't need to go in there anyways, right?  Tell me I'm not the only one who does this.  People will comment that my house is so clean and I'm like, " don't even want to see my closet or bathroom." We can't have it all together all of the time.

About a week after her birthday party, this vase was still in our bedroom.  (I guess I have selective OCD.  I am so organized and on point when it comes to some things.  Apparently this vase is not one of those items.)  Jared and I were sound asleep one night when all of a sudden we heard a loud CRASH.  It scared the daylights out of us both.  Our hearts were beating out of our chests as we jumped up to face whatever fate may await us.  Our hearts slowly returned to a normal cardiac rhythm when we realized one of our dogs had gotten up to go sleep in this corner I had now "decorated" with the vase and had knocked it over, waking up the whole house.  I knew I should have moved it out of our room a week prior.  I had even thought to myself that it was a matter of time before it fell over because it was unsturdy on the carpet in our bedroom.  But instead I let it sit there.

As I took deep breaths to try to calm myself back down, a parable Jesus spoke to the masses came to my mind.  It was one that I think about often because I feel like I've lived difference aspects of it.

It comes out of Matthew 13:18-23:

Hear then the parable of the sower.  When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart.  This is the one on whom seed was sown beside the road.  The one on whom seed was sown on rocky places, this is the man who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporal, and when affliction or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he falls away.  And the one on whom seed was sown among the thorns, this is the man who hears the word, and the worry of the world and deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.  And the one on whom seed was sown on the good soil, this is the man who hears the word and understands it; who indeed bears fruit and brings forth, some a hundred fold, some sixty, some thirty.

There is so much packed into these six convicting verses that I could never cover in one post, so I want to focus on the bolded verse.  And I want to focus on the bolded verse because this used to be me.

In the church, you hear a lot about a "God-sized hole" that we all have.  Well, I believed and I knew I had a God-sized hole that I was constantly trying to fill with various things - friends, clothes, boys, cars, money, education, job, alcohol, etc - things of the world that could never sustain me.  I was always so interested in learning about God when a friend would take me to church with them, but as soon as I got home or away from it, I was right back to my old way of life.

You see, I had no solid foundation in Christ.  I had no serious convictions about the way I was living my life so when any form of temptation came my way, I was sucked right back in.  If others would question me or taunt me because of Jesus, I would give right back in to my old way of living.  I couldn't stand on solid ground because I wouldn't lay down my life in surrender so that Christ could lay down the foundation for it.  This vicious cycle repeated itself for many years until finally one day I surrendered. Only through the work of the Holy Spirit in my life did I became like the seed that was sown on good soil.

If you find yourself in any of these other states, there is hope and as long as you have breath in your lungs, it's never too late.  You do not have to live your life in turmoil, without that peace that passes understanding.  Allow Jesus to be your hope and foundation and know that I'll be praying for you.

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