Encourage

As the Saturday morning sunlight spilled through our foyer, the yellow lilies adorning the entry table (which was my grandmother’s old sewing machine) glowed with a vibrancy so bright.  It immediately lifted my spirits.

These flowers were delivered the night before along with an unexpected, greatly appreciated hot meal from a friend and neighbor who knew my heart had been heavy and spirit bruised from the past few weeks.  Life is not always kind, is it?  Grief, heartache, and pain always seeks us out.  It can come from family, friends, work, or even our own selves.  I am sometimes my own worst enemy.  I had had my share of pain and disappointments recently and was wallowing in my own self pity.  My friend noticed and asked God how she might encourage me.

Encourage.

“Encouragement is infusing hope or courage into another’s life.” -Kelly D. King
 

That’s what I want to do.  I want to encourage. I want infuse hope and courage to someone other than myself.

This world is already hard enough.  I don’t want to make it any harder on someone as I try to prove a point, work an agenda, boost my own pride.  I want to be like my friend.  I want to seek to encourage someone the best that I can.  My friend’s selfless act of kindness moved me in ways that gave me hope.  I knew God had heard and answered prayers I’d been saying over the past couple of weeks.  He sent her at the exact right moment.  Her gesture gave me strength to keep pushing when I felt like I was burnt out.  I could lift my head back up as I heard God whisper, “Look up, child.”

You see, not one of us is perfect.  No, not one.  Yet we walk around constantly comparing ourselves against others in hopes to boost our own confidence.  And this is where we have gotten it all wrong.  If you want to make a difference, encourage someone.

As I told my friend how much she had blessed me, she reiterated to me that she was the one who was blessed.

By encouraging others you will help yourself.  Your focus will not be solely on you and your circumstances, but rather choosing to see someone other than you.  It is an act of humility and service that will leave you blessed.

Setting our minds on encouraging others focuses our thoughts on seeing the best in people.  My friend could have looked at me and assumed I was ridiculous or needed to get over my disappointments.  She could have wanted to shame and guilt me as others had done in the past few weeks.  Instead, she chose to see the best.  She chose to see a woman who was struggling and thought how she might be an instrument to improve and encourage my life.  She looked for the best and prayed that it might be brought out in me.

Encouragement is Biblical.  It is foundational.  You can never pour into someone’s life unless there is encouragement first.  Otherwise your words and actions will fall on deaf ears or cause division.  Encouragement unites.  Don’t you think we could all use some unity?

There are so many wonderful examples of encouragement all throughout scripture, but perhaps the one that is most relevant to unity (especially of the church) comes out of 1 Thessalonians 5.  The Apostle Paul is writing here to the church at Thessalonica.  Paul had been on a missionary journey there, but had to leave abruptly and the church was struggling under persecution with little support.  To help, Paul sent Timothy to encourage believers there, to prod them forward to continue and be strong in the midst of persecution.  What a lesson for us!

Encourage.  That’s what I want to do.  I want to encourage. I want infuse hope and courage to someone other than myself.  What about you?  Will you join me in being an encourager?  How might you and I be used as a catalyst to encourage someone today or in the days, weeks, and months to come?

Think on this, pray on this, and let’s act on this.

You Have Filled My Heart

She was in her late eighties, silver hair, make-up beautifully applied, dressed for the occasion.  We will call her "Betty".  The moment I sat in the pew behind her, she turned around, asked my name, and extended her hand in a warm welcome.  We quickly realized we had a mutual friend in common - my husband (who sings in the choir at our church).  "I love to hear him sing," she said.  "We need more of that quartet business that they do."

She was precious.  We talked for several minutes before the Sunday church service began.  During our conversation, she realized that the offertory song for this particular Sunday would be a song sung by a gentleman who performed this same song at her husband's funeral seven years ago.  With eyes wide and a big grin she told me how excited she was to hear it again.

Service began, the message was preached, my heart was stirred on the theme of perseverance.  The Lord had encouraged me through our Pastor's sermon.

And then the offertory song began.  I sat with tears welling up in my eyes as I watched this sweet woman wipe tear after tear streaming down her face, hands lifted as she sang along.  And then I realized that she was an answer to a prayer I've been praying.

Lately I have been overcome with feelings of inadequacy, exhaustion, and anxiety in raising small children.  I have spent an afternoon or two or three sitting on my kitchen floor crying out of sheer frustration.  And I hated feeling that way.  Still, every time I logged onto my social media, I saw no less than three articles about how parenting is so hard, so lonely, so depressing.  It was nice to not feel alone, yet I knew that parenthood was never intended to be isolating and depressing.  Somewhere deep inside my soul I knew it was an absolute lie.  I knew that if I began to let myself believe the lie, which was incredibly easy to do, my joy would be diminished and replaced by some sad sentiment.   And I didn't want that to happen.  I began to pray for God to breathe life into those dark places; help me to feel and see joy even when I was feeling pretty miserable and sorry for myself.

And that He did.  Through this sweet widow woman, my eyes were open to the absolute beauty around me.  As I watched her worship alone, I thought: You know, this phase of life isn't so bad.  I'm surrounded by people I love and those who love me.  I have a husband who works so hard for us, comes home every night excited to see his family.  I have two precious little ones who cling to every square inch of me if possible and want to snuggle with their momma constantly.  I have the opportunity to spend so much time with my little people - reading stories, singing songs, rocking, playing outside, wiping up some type of mess, correcting behavior, molding them into decent human beings.  My grocery bill is high, but that is because I have the honor and privilege of preparing and cooking meals for my family.  There is so much laundry to be done, but that is because I have a house full of precious people who need clean clothes.  This place is a mess, but that's because memories are being made.

This phase of life is insanely beautiful.  And if I'm not careful to acknowledge that, I will believe the lies the enemy wants to feed me.  Of course it is hard some days, but nothing like Betty's hard.  Betty came alone, left alone.  I came with my family, left with my family.  Betty went home alone.  I went home to a full, rambunctious house.  Betty's children are scattered across the country.  Mine are under the same roof.  Betty ate dinner alone.  I got to cook dinner, sit around the table, and eat in the company of my husband and children.  Betty went to bed alone.  I got to read and rock two littles to bed and then curl up next to my husband.  Betty still had joy.  My joy had been renewed.

Maybe the hard times of this phase prepare us for what is to come if we're blessed with the gift of longevity.  So, I will savor and revel in the grandeur of this moment.  As we are told, it goes by so fast.

Thank You, Lord, for hearing and answering my prayers.  Thank You for filling my heart with joy.  If I'm not careful to seek Your help, I know my heart can quickly be filled with something else.  Help me to always choose joy.