We recently had a health scare with our daughter that brought all of this to a head. Praise God everything seems to be fine, but it was a scary week with so many uncertainties, questions, and thoughts running wild. It gave us a small, small glimpse into the lives of parents of children fighting terrible illnesses. My prayer life in this area will be forever changed.
On our way home from the hospital yesterday, Jared and I began to talk about what God showed us through all of this. I feel like I could write a book on the many lessons I learned in a short amount of time, but one glaring theme that I've had to address in my own life is spiritual strongholds that I have let the devil have on me for far too long. This is a message that's not only hard to write, but hard to receive too. Lord, let their hearts be softened.
My struggle with anxiety began when I was 14 years old. I can take you to the exact moment. It was like a switch flipped in my brain. Since then, I've worked through managing and learning how to deal with it without medication. But many people are not as fortunate. And since knowing Christ, He has helped me overcome many obstacles. It's a silent "disease", if you will. A person can look completely normal and content on the outside, but inside is a different story. And I almost feel as if anxiety is so flippantly used today because the feeling of anxiousness is so widespread and felt by so many people. So let me be clear. I'm talking about anxiety in the sense that it is crippling and paralyzing to the point where it affects your everyday life; not just a case of the butterflies from nervousness. You can't leave your house some days because of this anxiety. Your relationships suffer because some people do not understand. This is real and it's a stronghold that I have let control my life for far too long.
God's Word tells us in James 1:17 that, "Every good and perfect gift is from above..." If something is not good and perfect, frankly it is not of God. And as a believer, that points me to who it is from - the devil. That may sound like crazy talk, but it's true. The devil is real and he is alive. He seeks to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10). He wants to kill my confidence in Christ. He wants to steal my joy with my family. He wants to destroy my testimony, my character, my relationships, fill in the blank. He has bound me in chains through the word "anxiety" so much so that he had convinced me that all of my fears would become a reality if I even so much as voiced them. Do you know how crippling this is? I couldn't even talk about worries I had because I was afraid if I even spoke the words, it would happen. I know that sounds crazy, but I also know I am not alone in feeling this way. That is why I feel so compelled to share.
The ways in which I've found the enemy to work in my life are through fear, isolation, and my introverted nature. I buy into his lies that he feeds me, which then makes me fearful. I'm already isolated as a mom of an infant and a toddler because I simply cannot go and do whatever I want whenever I want. And because I'm a natural introvert, I will sometimes hole up and stay that way.
But...GOD. He is greater and He is stronger than any of this. And this week took me to my knees in ways I could never put into words. And through this, I learned a few ways to break these strongholds.
1. PRAYER. I battled in prayer. The more I talked to people, the more anxious I became. Why did the doctor have that frown on her face? Why didn't he say everything would be okay? Even with the best of intentions, most people in their reassurance made my anxiety worse. And it's not their fault, they were only trying to help. The only one I could talk to and feel a sense of calm from was God. When I spoke to Him, I knew He was listening. I knew He was working.
Also, the prayers of His people are more valuable than gold. When someone asks you to pray, it is not because they do not trust God. It is because these battles are won in prayer and prayer is a lifeline to God. There are spiritual battles all around us. Read 2 Kings chapter 6 to get a glimpse.
3. SPEAK OUT FEARS. This was the hardest for me to learn. Even through the power of prayer and calling out God's word, I still felt choked down by fear that if I even voiced my thoughts raging in my mind they would somehow come true. But as I began to realize I was buying right into satan's snares, I opened up and spilled it all out to my husband. I could almost hear the chains breaking then. All of these worries I've been keeping bottled up inside me for months came pouring out. I could breathe! I could talk! Someone would listen and not judge me, not ridicule me, not make me feel stupid. Why had it taken me so long to figure this out?
The answer was strongholds. I had let satan plant seeds of doubt in my mind that grew into fears and sprouted lies. And the more I kept silent, the more I watered his poisonous plant to the point that its roots became chains on my life.
But...GOD. He is greater and He is stronger than any of this. My chains are gone, I've been set free. My God, my Savior has ransomed me. And like a flood, His mercy rains. Unending love, amazing grace.
I pray that any strongholds you have in your life will be uprooted, sawed in half. It may not happen overnight, but God is faithful. He is strong. He is true. Trust Him, lean on Him, learn from Him. He will direct all of your paths and fill your heart with joy. Even in the midst of struggles you can say, it is well with my soul.
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